six word autobiography: “fuck goddamnit i fucked up so bad”
guys i specifically made that sentence seven words long so someone could comment “but thats seven words” and i could say “fuck i did it again i fucked up” so we could all have a good laugh but no one said it. yall fucked up. i fucked up because i assumed yall wouldnt fuck up. everythings fucked up
*goes to fistbump mirror but my reflection goes for the high five*
Trophy wife? More like participation ribbon wife.
I think I’m going to write a book called “‘Four Hours Is Definitely Enough Sleep’ And Other Lies I Tell Myself”
Ladies, and gentlemen, this is the captain. If you look out the right side of the aircraft you will notice flight 195 challenging us to a race.
please put on your seat belts because it’s about to get raw as hell up in this bitch *sound of plane diving*